Does the bare minimum with negative emotions.

That is how I captioned this image on my other socials. But it would seem Bluepix turns out to be an off-the-grid for me, kind of like a secret hideout, or journal for the darker side of my being. Truth is there are things that cannot be said to the face of the people that care about me... I do not want to hurt them with the harmful words I harbor inside of me that they are not ready to hear. Here, I am alone and I can use that to my advantage.

I feel terrible. I am a horrible friend. I am lost and have no idea where my life is headed. I want to die and want to live with that feeling without anyone making me feel guilty for it or blaming me for being ungrateful to them. I have lost interest in a lot of things too and feel no enthusiasm for success. In fact, success motivates me very little.

What happened to me?